Marks of Biblical Fatherhood
Fatherhood is a beautiful privilege. Indeed, it is one of God’s good gifts to man (James 1:17). And for the man who is saved and a follower of Jesus, he knows the good gift of fatherhood is also a stewardship. He acknowledges that God has given him a great responsibility to direct and influence his children toward Christ (Eph.6:4).
And so, what marks the man who understands this privilege and embraces his stewardship?
1: He will be a man saturated with Scripture.
A Biblical Father is marked by a love for God’s Word. His heart is like the Psalmist who says in Psalm 119:97,
“O how I love Your law! It is my meditation all the day.”
A Biblical Father is saturated with Scripture because he knows that Man shall not live on bread alone, but by every word that comes out of the mouth of God (Matt. 4:4). A Biblical Father finds his wisdom from the Word of God, and not the god of this world (2 Cor. 4:4). The apostle Paul writing to his protégé in the faith, Timothy, said,
“All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work”
While these words were directed towards Timothy and the Scripture’s ability to equip him for his pastoral duties. The principle applies broadly to all believers and the stewardships God has given them. And this includes fathers. A Biblical Father recognizes that in the Word of God, he will find the truth which will equip him for his responsibilities as a father.
2: He will be a man that brings God and His Word into all of life.
In Deuteronomy 6, specifically verses 4-9, Israel is commanded to love the Biblical God with everything they have. To meditate on God’s Word all the time. And then, from the heart’s overflow, they are to impress God’s Word upon their children, whether in the home or on the road. A Biblical Father is a man that does not have a sacred-secular mentality that leads him to say, “Sunday is for God. Our mid-week life group is for God. The rest of the week is for me.” No, a Biblical Father talks about God and His Word all the time. He recognizes with Albert Barnes that
“If a man does not teach his children truth, others will teach them error.”
Thus, a Biblical Father recognizes the necessity of bringing his children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). He will teach his children the Scriptures with regularity and intentionality. This will happen in environments like family devotions. And he will also use the Word of God to inform his children’s worldview as they see the rampant wickedness in the world.
3: He will be a man who models an example worth following.
How many of us have had the experience of surprise when one of our children says a phrase they have heard us say? How many of us have identified mannerisms that our children have that are a spitting image of our mannerisms? In these moments, we are reminded of the reality that our kids are watching and picking up on everything we are doing. This is true whether what we are doing is pleasing to the Lord or not. A Biblical Father can say along with the apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 11:1,
“Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ.”
While what we say is vitally important, how we live is just as important. Our actions will either strengthen our efforts in discipling our kids, or it will undermine them.
4: He will be a man that prays, prays, and prays some more.
An accurate understanding of God’s Word teaches that we, as parents, cannot save our children. The Scriptures make it clear that “Salvation is from the LORD” (Jonah 2:9; cf. Psalm 3:8, 62:1). What this means is that despite our best and most faithful efforts in discipling our kids, the key to their salvation does not lie in our hands. It is from the Lord, and the Lord alone, that their eyes can be opened to their sin, their guilt before God, and their need for Christ to save them.
But not only does the Biblical Father pray for his child’s salvation. The Biblical Father also prays for strength and perseverance. There will be weeks when you feel like you’re nailing it. But inevitably, there will be weeks where you recognize you are failing as a disciple-maker and you are failing your children. It is important in these times that we persevere. It is crucial in these times that we start again. It is essential in these times that we do not give up. It is vital in these times that we go to God in prayer, ask for His strength, and in grace, renew our zeal for our children’s spiritual formation.
Fathers, what a joy and privilege it is to be a dad. And while much more can be said about the marks of a Biblical Father, I believe that if we live out these four marks, we’ll be headed in the right direction.
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