Managing Money in our Marriage
One of the questions we receive all the time surrounds the challenge of rising living costs. So, in this brief article, we'll analyze a couple of realities about family finance, the Lord's view of home finance, and a few tips to budget well.
To listen instead of read check out episode 14 of the “Date Night With the Woods” podcast below.
First, we aren't financial planners, so find someone in your area who can help with good short- and long-term financial strategy. That said, there are foundational principles from God’s Word on which we can build.
Economics 101
Most people aren’t interested in economics, but sometimes it can be helpful to know where terms like inflation and recession come from. So here’s Economics 101.
If you look back, before WWI, all the money used was equal to the value of a product purchased, and paper money (the dollar) was backed by gold or silver. So, generally speaking, our pre-WWI economy was pretty stable.
In the 1920s, individuals began to use credit to speculate in the stock market, and companies flourished because the industrial revolution was underway. But then confidence in the stock market faded, which sparked the Great Depression.
After the crash of 1929, the government stepped in with the New Deal, so in the 1930s, there were more government controls and more people on welfare, and for the first time in US history, we were printing money without gold backing (called funny money).
By the 1940s, WWII hit, and the national debt was entrenched. By post-war (the 1950s), the housing boom provided millions of houses on credit, expanded banking channels, and prompted the government to step in with even more support.
The 1960s felt like the golden years of prosperity, so Europe borrowed our credit system, and global debt grew, but reality hit in the 1970s. For the first time, we felt shortages in essential commodities.
Sadly, since the 1970s, the dollar is no longer the standard for international exchange, and more and more US currency is needed due to a lack of consumer confidence. Our economy plunges back and forth between inflationary and recessionary periods, and with each fluctuation, it takes more significant quantities of money to reverse the trend. (1)
How We View Money
Knowing western economics may not be super important for a couple, but understanding how we view money can be. Let us explain.
We all have a Money View, and it doesn't matter who you are or where you live; we've all grown up picturing money in a certain way.
Our Money View is shaped by specific influences:
The first influence is our childhood. What our parents taught us (or didn't teach us!) about money significantly impacts the remainder of life. While we were very young, our parents exemplified a particular way of viewing money handling, and our beliefs were handed down nonverbally by mom and dad.
The second influence is our society. In the modern world, we receive money messages from friends, our school, social media, TV, and our church. Each year we receive thousands of messages about money. Who hasn't heard "Put your money where your mouth is" or "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"? Clichés become clichés because they are repeated so often that they feel like a hard-fast truth.
The last influence is our Recent Past. If we've seen recent success with money, we'll tend to repeat it. By the same token, we'll probably change our view or practice if we've endured epic failure.
All that to say, it's important for couples to sit down and make sure their Money Views are aligned. We'd recommend going out on a date to share how each person's parents viewed money, any clichés they may (subconsciously) live by, and even a few things they've done well, and also areas of failure. All in all, make sure any presuppositions about money are "on the table.”
How God Views Money
Making sure we're honest about Money Views allows us then move over into the more important category: How does God view money? For true Christians seeking God's best, our view of money must align with God's view of money. So in this section, we'll list a few biblical insights about God's perspective (and plan) for your money.
The Bible tells us that we are not owners of our money but merely managers. God is the owner, and we are here to manage HIS assets according to HIS plan, and all the promises God makes regarding a blessing in this area hinge on this principle. A good illustration is the old John Rockefeller story. Rockefeller was the wealthiest man in America, and when he died, someone asked his accountant, "How much did he leave?" His accountant smirked and said, "All of it!"
Jesus was clear about this truth, "Don't lay up for yourselves treasures on earth…but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven." Solomon spends much of Ecclesiastes saying the same. No matter how rich. No matter how famous. Everything we have will either be stolen, rusted, or burned.
So couples must start by analyzing whether they view their budget as "theirs" or belonging to God. If they view their money as "theirs," they're under the Devil's grand deception. At this point, they must pause, pray, and repent. Every day Satan leads millions to pursue riches on earth while their souls head to damnation in hell. The Lord counters this and expects us to have a heavenly attitude about money (1 Tim. 6:10; Mt. 25), realizing our Father loves us and is using money to train us to love and trust Him.
First, God is using money to strengthen our trust. Jesus was clear, “All these things the Gentiles eagerly seek; for your heavenly Father knows that you need them." What a fantastic reality that, just like we do with our own children, God is giving and taking away to draw us toward maturity.
Second, God is using money to prove His love. Jesus says, "If you being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more your Father in heaven…." Another joyful truth is that God cultivates our love explicitly through His hand of care.
Third, God is using money to demonstrate His power. The Lord wants us to remember that He’s never in need, never surprised, and owns the universe.
Fourth, God is using money to unite Christians. We often forget that our Christian communities are forged through mutual care. God uses the abundance of one Christian to meet the needs of another. Both a blessing to the one who receives, and more so a great joy to the one who gives. Surplus is never for luxury but for ministry.
Lastly, God is using money to direct our lives. We're always amazed at how some of our lives most precise directional shifts happened due to lack of funds. Like Spurgeon often said, "The times of lowliness are when the Lord seems to be getting my attention."
This means that God will never use money to worry us, so any anxiety is a sin. It also means that God will never use money to corrupt us, so any deceit or greed is evil. We might also say God will never allow us to hoard wealth, as faithful Christians will also want to see their money profit God's people. And we could add that God will never allow money to satisfy our every desire, for God only wants God (Himself!) to be our prize and joy.
So, in summary, God gave us a little money, He's using that money to help us trust Him, serve Him, prepare to meet Him, and He'll always use money to grow us, not harm us.
Building a Plan for Money
For couples who are turning from worldly Money Views and are desirous to please God in their finances, they can take a few steps to get started.
First is to sit down together, pull out the bank statement, confess all sins of selfishness, and consecrate all future finances to the Lord. In a way, this is an agreed-upon "Transfer of Ownership" or "Title" where the couple says, "It's no longer ours, but yours, Lord."
Next, the couple can determine an amount to start giving at church. We don't have to focus on the size of the giving but on the size of the sacrifice. So sit down, read 2 Corinthians 8:1-5, and then give the Lord your best monthly.
After consecration, the couple then needs to write out a financial plan. List out all expenditures in importance, and ensure to itemize what's a "need" versus a "want." Be super honest.
An obvious next step will be canceling all unnecessary expenditures, e.g., cable TV, multi-room Wi-Fi plans, cleaning services, pool care, lawn care, subscriptions, or anything else you don't need to live on.
It's also essential to begin saving, even if it's only a tiny amount of money per month. Also, avoid taking on any new debt, and try to locate an excellent financial planner in your area to help build a budget.
Lastly, it's essential to tuck monthly money away for annual bills, e.g., vehicle registration, school clothes, vehicle maintenance, or Christmas gifts.
So, in summary, prudent planning may include consecration to the Lord, giving monthly to God's work, evaluating needs versus wants, canceling non-essentials, locating cheaper options, avoiding new debt, tucking a little money away each month, and locating a good financial planner to help.
Helpful Hints for Money
#1 Watch out for Budget Busters. Budget Busters are surprises, and they can really set us back. There's no way to avoid pitfalls, but one way to handle them is to build savings. Typically the best way to do this is to avoid the temptation to "stretch" for a home above our means. It's always better to live in less and save a bit more.
#2 Be creative on groceries. A few tips to help with groceries and inflation include 1) Using a written list to avoid impulse, 2) Planning out meals weekly, 3) Not shopping while hungry, 4) Reducing paper products, e.g., Paper Towels, 5) Using two stores if products are cheaper, 6) Buy house-products rather than name brand, 7) Make your own baby food in a blender and, 8) Try bulk purchases from a farmers' market.
#3 Be prudent with car purchases. Typically, it's better to buy a healthy used car rather than a new one or lease, mainly if you can perform your own maintenance.
#4 Be strategic on vacations. The enemy plays on our discontent, so a vacation location will never satisfy. Even worse is the testimony of a Christian already hurting financially and going into debt to travel. So find ways to vacate within your means, e.g., Pay cash, secure hotel points, travel in the off-season, or even with another family.
#5 Do not be tempted by fashion. We need to be utilizers, not consumers when it comes to clothing. Our goal should not be to "toss" something out of style but because it's well-worn. When shopping, do not perform impulse buying and be careful of purchasing out of ego or peer pressure. Instead, plan your clothing purchases per season and pray before purchasing.
#6 Find ways to save on household maintenance. There are so many day-to-day items that bust the budget. Check the insulation, only run AC/Heat when needed, turn off lights, purchase efficient bulbs, shorten the kid's showers, limit outdoor water use, be careful about pet purchases (they're expensive!), and more….
Conclusion
As a couple, remember the Lord owns everything. He gave you a short life and a bit of money to steward, and He'll soon return to examine how you did. The reality is you're either wasting it on things of earth or investing toward the beauties of heaven. So talk with one another, consecrate it to Him, give to your church, build a wise budget, live out your commitments, and trust Him with the consequences.
