Four Characteristics that Foster Unity
There’s an old church joke that goes something like this,
“A man once put a dog and a cat in a cage together as an experiment, to see if they could get along. They did, so he put in a bird, pig, and goat. They, too, got along fine after a few adjustments. Then he put in a Baptist, a Lutheran, a Presbyterian, and a Pentecostal inside, and after just several minutes there wasn’t a living thing left! ”
While humorous, it’s all too true that when you put Christians together there will be conflict. Beyond denominational differences, in local congregations where most people agree on doctrinal distinctives there can still be personal preferences, opinions, and attitudes that break down unity rather than preserve it. We can all be guilty of making a spiritual law where there is no biblical law, or in an effort to embrace our Christian liberties, we can be guilty of flaunting our liberty. At all turns, the opportunity to divide presents itself — even, sells itself — as a deeper piety and higher status with God, only to leave us in the rubble of division.
Unity is hard to come by in the Christian faith, but it’s important to us fulfilling our calling. And it’s achievable, no matter what secondary differences we may have, so long as everyone in the household of God walks worthy of the manner in which they were called (Ephesians 4:1). Easier said than done, but that doesn’t change our goal does it?
After laying a gospel-rich foundation in the first three chapters of Ephesians, the apostle Paul begins to tell the church how they are to live in light of the fact that God’s grace had changed them. Pride, factions, and self-interest dominated their former way of thinking. Now, with the Holy Spirit having taken residence inside of their hearts they were to live out their faith in submission to God, not their own fleshly impulses. This new way of living would lead to unity!
Based on what Paul writes in Ephesians 4:2-3, here are four characteristics that will foster the kind of unity every believer (and pastor) desires in their local church:
1: Humility
Paul says that walking worthy of their calling would include walking “…with all humility…” (Ephesians 4:2a). Humility means “modest or lowly” and it is an entirely Christian idea. Greeks and Romans celebrated cockiness, arrogance, and pride. Humility was looked down upon as weakness. Some linguists even say that there was no word for “humility” in the Greek language so it’s likely that Paul had to make one up, and thus the idea of Christian humility began to spread. Humility was modeled by Jesus Himself. Paul writes elsewhere,
“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Philippians 2:3-8)
Jesus had the glory of heaven, never had human form, was above us all, and was truly God. He comes to earth and takes on human form, never ceasing to be God, but lowering Himself by becoming a man. He then veils His full glory, limiting Himself to the degree that He could have destroyed all enemies, taken vengeance at every turn, vaporized all who opposed Him, and settled every score by fighting His holy war right then and there as an equal deity to God the Father. Instead, He doesn’t see His equality with the Father as a thing to be grasped, but He submits to the Father willingly so that He could redeem sinners through a shameful, brutal, humble death on a cross.
Because of Christ’s example, we ought to run every ambition, every fight or flight response, every decision, every word, and every thought through one filter: Does this look like my Lord?
That approach will foster unity.
2: Gentleness
Paul then says, “…and gentleness…” (Ephesians 4:2b). Gentleness is a Greek word that has a very close correlation to “meekness.” This is being courteous and considerate towards others and is a very important Christian quality because if we are not gentle we end up living and relating to others like a wrecking ball, destroying and tearing down rather than building up. Gentleness in the life of Christ looked like strength under control. Jesus possessed a steel spine and a soft heart. For a Christian, meekness isn’t weakness, even if the world looks at meek people as passive doormats who never make anything happen. When in fact, the gentle person is still a mover and a shaker but the way they go about it is wise, gracious, and Christ-like. They aren’t bull in a China shop, smashing into everything to achieve the end result. Gentleness is so important because it comes in handy when dealing with sin, which is a common issue in the church because human beings are here! Galatians 6:1 reminds us, “…if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, as that you too will not be tempted.”
A Christian should not be a thorn that stabs but a soothing balm that heals, even if the truth stings, healing and purity are the results. Gentleness is attached to the appeal that Christ offers sinners who are seeking to find peace in all the wrong places only to end up weighed down by the destructive burden of sin when He says:
“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and My burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-29)
Are you known for being gentle? Do people in the body want to come to you to admit weakness, confess sin, seek wisdom, and find encouragement? Do we withhold retaliation even when we could crush someone? Just because we could satisfy our soul with vengeance, do we? I’m always convicted by what Chuck Swindoll once said: “We can be right, but we don’t need to be ugly about it.” That is gentleness. Think of a wild stallion who has been tamed, but still has spirit, fight, and drive to run. The stallion is chiseled, fierce, and strong, yet runs where the Master directs and only runs when the Master directs. A gentle church makes the Devil tremble because we are strong, yet disciplined and difficult to lure in by his divisive traps and schemes.
3: Patience
Ephesians 4:2c also includes “with patience.” This is the Greek word makrothumia and is “a state of remaining tranquil when waiting for an outcome.” It’s slowness to react, it is endurance, and being long-tempered in challenging circumstances. This kind of attitude is key to unity in the church because it causes us to be less reactive towards others. It is difficult to offend a patient person. Patience is often linked to faith and trust in the Lord. That’s why many of the heroes of the faith were patient, even when enduring challenges, being sinned against, or not having everything they wanted right away.
Noah built an ark for 120 years while everyone made fun of him and not a drop of rain came down.
Joseph endured decades of hardship before ruling over Egypt.
David was anointed long before becoming king, then attacked all the way to the throne by his predecessor Saul.
God was patient with us, instead of giving us what we deserve as sinners He is patient, slow to anger, and adopts us as His own beloved children.
Do we trust the Lord in the midst of being sinned against? Do we trust in Him during seasons of waiting? Are we quick to complain about preferences or do we consider what God may be teaching us? When God doesn’t follow our timeline or when others do not meet our expectations do we tap your foot and point at our watch, demanding things go according to our timeline or our way? Christians are called to be patient because we will endure challenges, God will grow us through trials, and we will be mistreated, cheated, attacked, or misunderstood throughout our lives. Patience is key to following Christ and fosters unity because instead of blaming others or lashing out in our own seasons of frustrated waiting, we trust the Lord and accept His timing.
4: Forbearance in Love
Finally, Paul writes, “…showing tolerance for one another in love.” Showing tolerance in love is not overlooking truth, it is continuing to love, serve, and care for someone who bothers you, displeases you, or disappoints you with their decisions at times. Love is so important to unity because when our feelings drive us into hasty decisions or harsh words, love keeps us grounded.
Colossians 3:14 says, “Above all put on love which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” Love is the glue holding the body together. Humility flows from love, gentleness flows from love, patience flows from love, and showing tolerance for one another flows from love. You can have none of these characteristics if you do not have love. This is why Paul prayed for the Ephesians to be “rooted and grounded in love” (3:17) and to know Christ’s love and be filled with it.
Armed with these characteristics, believers are to be “diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3). This means we are to be zealous, eager, and to make haste in preserving the unity that has already been provided through the cross of Christ.
When believers walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which they have been called, unity is always the result because God has designed His body to work that way.
