How Should a Christian Respond to Gossip?
This is an important question for us as Christians to consider. When we talk about the destructive power of sin, gossip usually doesn't come to mind. What comes to mind are things like sexual sin, sins in the realm of addiction, idolatry, abortion, false proclamation of a false gospel. That's what comes to mind. When we talk about destruction from sin what doesn't often come to mind is gossip.
In many ways, we have become desensitized to the sinfulness of gossip. We have gossip magazines at the grocery checkout lines. We have television shows that are built around storylines of gossip. I recently came across an academic journal that is trying to say that gossip is actually a form of learning. Gossip is pervasive in our culture and unfortunately, it can often be in the church.
So how should a Christian respond to gossip? Before we consider some practical steps, it's important for us to be reminded of the sinfulness of gossip.
The Sinfulness of Gossip
Consider Paul's words in Romans 1:28-29. He says,
“And just as they (the unrighteous) did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a depraved mind, to do those things that are not proper, people having been filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, and evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, and malice; they are gossips,”
You see, unlike the world's elevation and infatuation with gossip, God's word is very clear regarding the sinfulness of gossip. The sinfulness of spreading a rumor, of revealing something about someone behind their back.
So if we have a clear picture in our mind of the sinfulness of gossip, we come back to the question "How should a Christian respond to it when it comes knocking on the door?" Three things come to mind for me, practically speaking.
1: Call It Out.
If you're in a conversation with someone and it begins to move towards gossip about someone else, be willing to stop the conversation and name it for what it really is. "This is gossip. God is not honored by gossip. Gossip is a sin and God hates it. Thus, we need to stop the conversation now before any more gossip happens."
See, undoubtedly, if you've been in one of these moments, it gets awkward, but the point gets communicated.
2: Redirect the Conversation.
Another way to respond to gossip is to simply redirect the conversation. When you're in a conversation when someone's beginning to gossip and speak about another person who's not present, be confident enough to just change the topic matter altogether. Again, this may be awkward, but the point gets clearly communicated that you're not going to participate.
3: Give a Blank Stare.
The third way is probably my favorite because I've been a victim of this one. Give a blank stare. I've personally been the recipient of this response to gossip. Moving into gossip with a pastor that I deeply respect, I was expecting him to engage with me, and all of a sudden he just gave me a blank stare. And I was wondering, "Did he not hear me? What's going on?" But very quickly, I learned that he was making it clear that he wasn't going to step into this and he wasn't going to participate. Now, some of you may be wondering, "This sounds a little extreme, especially the last one."
But may I remind you that Proverbs 20:19 tells us that we are to avoid gossipers.
“One who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets;
Therefore do not associate with a gossip.”
So if by chance you find yourself in a conversation where gossip is beginning to happen, it's not too drastic to utilize one of the applications just mentioned to kill the sin of gossip dead in its tracks. May we use our words to bring honor and praise to God. And may we kill gossip whenever it comes knocking on our door.
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