Five Strategies for Christ-Centered Parenting
How in the world are we going to raise godly kids in a sin-centered culture?
For two decades, social media has evolved and exploded from days of primitive “My Space” accounts that had teens glued to the family computer (under some sort of supervision?), to the now ever-present Snapchat videos and pornography, in the palm of their hand. At any given moment they can watch Giancarlo Stanton hit towering home-runs, see what Taylor Swift’s wearing in her latest music video, or watch Justin Bieber act up on TMZ. Tack on the latest pressure to conform to sexuality trends in the LGBTQ community, and we’ve really got to ask the question: Will the watered down, entertainment driven children’s programming at your local mega-church help you raise godly children in this age?
“Christians need to start asking the hard questions of their churches because it’s going to take more than a fancy building and feel good programming to raise a godly generation who lives boldly for Christ.”
I talk to numerous parents on a weekly basis and even though they’re all different, their love for their children and desire to see them grow into strong Christians is unanimously the same. But just like anything in life, you can want the big time results, but if you don’t practice, and practice the right way, you won’t achieve your goal. Imagine two athletes training for the Olympics. Now, let’s say they both train for an equal 1000 hours to compete in the 1500 meter run. However, one of them trains for this long distance run by doing sprints and power lifting, while the other trains by running longer distances over time, pushing the pace farther and faster, until running 1500 meters is clock work. Which one practiced for the right event, the right way, and makes the Olympic team? You get the picture.
Christian parents have always had the same task and the stakes have always been high, but the game has changed. In today’s fast paced world, we need to ensure that our strategy for raising godly children isn’t viewed as a sprint, but rather, as a long distance haul that is going to need progressive training. Thankfully, our divine “Coach”, and His inerrant training program has been sufficient over the last 2000 years.
If you’ll turn to Scripture to train your children, you’ll find it is loaded with transformational truth that can take your kid from being obsessed with their image on Instagram, to being shaped into the image of Christ. What’s the catch? There are no guarantees, no days off, you’ll wear out your knees, have to put down the phone, turn off ESPN, and have to read more than just Facebook statuses and tweets. Then, after at least 18 years of hard work, you’ll be out even more money when they ask you to pay for college! Ask any athlete who’s won gold, and any parent who’s raised godly kids by the grace of God and they’ll tell you – it’s worth every ounce of blood, sweat, and tears.
If you’re new to Christian parenting or have been choosing a home church based on how many Xbox stations they have in the youth center or how trendy the design scheme is, you may need change your approach. Choose a church because it has a track record of qualified pastors and leaders who support families and make disciples down the home stretch. Also, before you think church relocation, pray for a renovation – the spiritual kind – at your church. Talk to your children’s pastor, ask them what their discipleship strategy is for your kids, ask them for resources to help you become a better Christian parent, and ask them what the long-term vision is for ensuring your kids know their Bible and know Christ. Finally, make sure you’re taking responsibility by putting into practice these 5 Christian parenting strategies every chance you get:
1: Teach them how to read their Bible.
This starts with you, parent. Ask yourself, “Do I know how to read my Bible and do I actually do it with joy?” If so, make sure you model this for them. It’s mostly caught not taught so ensure that they see you do it before commanding that they do it. Passion for the Word is contagious!
2: Pray with them daily.
This one isn’t easy, but it’s one of the most rewarding things to watch progress. Lots of parents pray, but make sure you’re praying together too. I remember my wife insisting that we begin to kneel around the bedside and pray with our newborn son when he was barely 3 months old. I scoffed, “He doesn’t have a clue what’s going on at this age, we already prayed plenty today, why can’t we just put him to bed and go relax?” My wife persisted, and I learned a valuable lesson about forming early habits with kids. Now some years later, when my son folds his hands and joins us in prayer, I realize that starting so early was good training for us as parents too.
3: Teach them about sin and how it separates them from God.
Just the other day I overheard a parent tell their child at church, “You need to be obedient and stop lying. That’s sin that needs to be confessed to God.” The pre-teen replied arrogantly, “God loves me anyways, so it’s ok.” The parent proceeded to explain that God does love them, but sin is what separated man from God in the beginning and must be rightly understood. Antinomian attitudes towards the topic of sin need heart training, and biblical teaching. Teach kids that sin ought to be confessed and share with them the joy and freedom that comes from Christ’s work on the cross! They don’t need to just know that are reconciled to God the Father through faith in Jesus Christ – they need to know why. The gospel is good news, because we repent and turn from the bad news.
4: Teach them about God’s loving mercy through His Son Jesus Christ.
Love and mercy isn’t just giving to the poor, helping a friend, or giving someone a hug. Love and mercy is Christ giving life to dead sinners. Your kids need to be taught that good deeds without Christ are useless in the long run. One strategy that can be a huge blessing to their life is to help them articulate the Gospel in their own age-appropriate way. It could be as simple as 2-3 year olds learning to sing “Jesus Loves Me”, or helping your 4 year old understand John 3:16 by explaining that God sent His Son so we could be with Him one day. Of course, the sky is the limit as kids progress in age. I know of one 10 year old who studies doctrines as complex as the hypostatic union and Kenosis. This can seem intimidating to some parents but remember that kids don’t need to be systematic theologians by the age of 12, but they need good theology. Theology is an exciting part of life because it is literally helping kids know their God.
5: Teach them to examine their own salvation.
The American church has got into some troubling times because for decades we’ve told people they’re saved if they “prayed the sinner’s prayer.” What followed for many people was the same old lifestyle, but with a little “church on Easter” sprinkled here, and a little Christian radio on the way to work there. We need to teach our children that true salvation bears lasting fruit, and true followers of Christ are known by the Holy Spirit’s sanctifying work in their life, and their obedience to Christ (John 14:21; 2 Corinthians 5:17; Galatians 2:20)
In the end, no parent can be certain that their child will follow Christ and no parent can guarantee that their parenting methods will produce the next Charles Spurgeon. We simply have to obey the Bible as best as we can, love them sacrificially, and trust God with the results. Doctors and opinionated experts will tell you how to create nap schedules, and whether to attachment parent or let them “cry it out”. This can be helpful to information to study but ultimately is useless for the spiritual development of children. If parents desire to be experts in anything, they ought to be experts in God’s word on parenting. There is no substitute for the peace in the heart of a parent who knows they’ve done their best as a steward of God’s little ones.
