14 Fundamentals of True Love
Many of the hurtful and hateful things that we experience today were happening in the church of Corinth 2000 years ago. The Apostle Paul was so fed up that he sent a letter calling everybody out saying, "You guys have to learn to love". In what became the most beautiful chapter of the entire Bible, he lays out the fundamentals of true love.
1: Love is Patient
Love is long-tempered, not necessarily toward the issues, although it can be, but especially towards people. This means as Christians, we don't tune people out, we don't cut them off. And even when we're inconvenienced or taken advantage of, we never lash out in retaliation.
2: Love is Kind
This is the opposite of patient. Whereas patience was our response, kindness is our action, where we step out and showcase goodwill. Like Jesus said, "If anyone sues to take your shirt, go ahead and just give them your coat also."
3: Love is Not Jealous
Like oil and vinegar at the Italian restaurant, love and jealousy can't go together. And I'm sure you know this, but there will always be somebody out there who's a little better, a little bigger, a little brighter, and a little prettier than you or I. Love means we're going to be happy for them anyway.
4: Love Never Brags
In our age of selfies and social media, we need to hear this. As Christians, we can boast, we should boast, but that boast must always be in Christ alone.
5: Love is Not Rude
Referring to our sarcasm, our wit, and our double innuendo. Where we may dominate a room with our mouth, but forfeit our relationship with others. I still remember a seminary professor who once said, "Men, be statesmen, adorn the gospel, and make it beautiful."
6: Love is Not Selfish
Here's the ultimate relationship killer. If you want to struggle in your marriage, if you want to struggle with your kids, if you want to struggle with coworkers or on a team, just become the inflexible, stubborn guy, like those diva wide receivers in the NFL who can only run their play.
7: Love is Not Provoked
Which means explosion, convulsion, or outburst. The man or woman who lives on a hair trigger. I recall one man who said, "I blow up, but it's only for a second." And his buddy responded, "Yeah, so does a nuke." The damage was done.
8: Love Keeps No Record
Which means there's no account sheet and no bank ledger. Love wipes the past clean and provides a new canvas for the relationship to restart.
9: Love Doesn't Rejoice in Wrong
This means we'll never cheer evil: a friend leaving his wife, a coworker viewing porn, or the wives gossiping about their husbands at Chick-fil-A. It also means we don't gloat over misfortune: reveling when our enemy loses his pension, or laughing when the president struggles with dementia.
10: Love Rejoices in Truth
This means reality, verity, and what corresponds to facts. This is why we're vocal about things like LGBTQIA and others. Life at conception, two genders, the unbiblical nature of evolution. Not because we want to harm people, but because we want to help them.
11: Love Bears All Things
Which is the idea of covering, protecting, not being a sprinkler for gossip, a shower of hot takes. We're careful with the news that could hurt or harm somebody. And you may say, "Well, how do I know if I'm a gossip?" Well, if you're not part of the problem and you're not part of the solution, the news isn't yours to share.
12: Love Believes All Things
Meaning we don't walk around suspicious or cynical and questioning motives or throwing out terminal terms like 'you always' or 'you never'.
13: Love Hopes All Things
A comprehensive statement for never giving up, whether it's a prodigal child, an unbelieving spouse, or a wayward church member. So long as there is life, there's a chance.
14: Love Endures All Things
Meaning I'll do all of those things that were just mentioned, even if you don't do them back to me. And I'm never going to stop.
A beautiful picture of this love comes from Cromwell's reign when a young soldier was sentenced to die at the curfew bell. Around 10:00 p.m. the sexton went to ring the bell, but no sound came out. What no one knew was that the young man's fiance had climbed the belfry and was holding the clapper on the inside. While the two-ton bell swung, she was being hit against the sides, until finally she fell, battered and bloodied and bruised, and was taken to Cromwell, pleading for the life of her love. Famously, Cromwell commuted the sentence, saying, "There'll be no curfew tonight."
Of course, there's an even greater example of love, the ultimate example of love. He was patient, kind, not jealous or rude, not selfish or easily provoked. He never rejoiced in wrong, always rejoiced in truth. Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endured all things. I'm sure you know who that is.
So I have to ask. Are you growing in love? Look back on the last year. Is all of that you? Patient, kind, not rude, undemanding, wiping the record clean, avoiding the wrong, applauding the right, bearing, believing, and hoping. If so, rest assured you're becoming more like Christ.
